Happy Chinese New Year to all the Chinoys and Chinays out there. Stay good looking and rich! It’s the year of the Snoop Dog, which happens to be my year. I hope this means it’ll be a good year for me, because if it isn’t, i’ll boycott Chinatown. My cousin and I used to go… Read more.

In the Philippines, everything is bigger and scarier. Whenever I see someone scared of a baby daddy-long legs spider here I shake my head in shame. I just feel like flying them to a small barangay in the Philippine mountains and leaving them there to sleep with hot-dog-sized millipedes and my Tita Pikoy. Malls in… Read more.

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My mom lives on this street in the Philippines, her house is the brown one on the left and it’s only thirty slippers away from the ocean. Living here (in the U.S) is cool, but where’s my damn ocean across the street? I don’t see any exotic plants or fruit bats waiting for me as… Read more.

My tita Kulit keeps buying me creamy buko pie from Valerio’s. Buko pie is made with sweet, soft, young coconut pieces scattered in a custardy creamy pie. If you want you can use elderly coconuts, but that would be disrespectful. Buko means “innocent coconut” in Tagalog. (Tita Kulit is not really my tita, salamat sa… Read more.

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Early in the morning after I wake up I check my eyes and nose for boogers. If I don’t do this the boogers dry up, so when I do try to pull them out they take my nose hairs and eyelashes with them… with tears of sakit. There are two kinds of boogers: the kulangot… Read more.

Why do we make fun of fobs? Thanks to my parents who were fresh off the boat I eat baby ducks, love old people, and get to visit the Philippines once every 20 years. I’ll tell you this though, fobs are still funny. I mean damn, ders sampting abowt da pilipino aksent dat makes me… Read more.

Empanada, of all Filipino pocket things (like lumpia or fake Louie Vuitton bags), is hard to make right. What does a person have to do to get some decent empanada around here?! Good Filipino empanada is small and not packed with too much crap, just meat (usually ground beef), 2 kinds of vegetables, raisins, potatoes… Read more.

Hollerrrrrr. A shirt I ordered online has arrived. Watch me pop my collar AND keep it Rizal at the same time. So what do they mean by “keepin’ it rizal?” Is this some kind of ‘eslang?’ Kids these days I swear. Pnoyapparel.com.

If you’re Filipino and don’t know how to cook rice your mom and dad must be either rich or not Filipino. Sorry to have ta break it to ya: you’re adopted. To cheer you up, i’ll teach you how to make rice for me. You’ll be making rice faster than you can say, “Hoy, na… Read more.

If you’re Filipino and celebrated the new year the pinoy way, you ate grapes, jumped up and down, and danced your ass off. Happy new year to my fellow dark-skinned pinoys and remember to keep away from the kryptonite that is the skin-lightening product. And happy new year to everyone else too, you know I… Read more.