What's yellow, smaller than a baby's foot, and tastes sweet? No not my big toe, baby mangoes.

My Auntie Bebe told me baby mangoes were being sold at the "Asian" supermarket earlier in the week so I went and bought some myself for $1.34 a pound and I must say they were pretty good. Usually mangoes sold here taste like wet paper, but these little guys surprised me. They were labeled "baby Manila mangoes" but im pretty sure they were either from Mexico or from Wisconsin, grown on a front yard by a fat woman named Manila.

I like my turon blunts long, golden, with a crisp sugar glaze on the outside, and a soft, sweet banana laced with a sliver of jackfruit inside of it. Not too thick, not too thin, and rolled just right.

My boss brought some turon to work last week and I couldn't do my job soon after that. I was just sitting there, lips and fingers sticky with sugar glaze and the scent of banana; my sugar rush was slowly wearing off and I soon became entranced by my computer's screen saver. I think I even slept for a few seconds in my chair because all of a sudden I was in Paris watching the musical "Jersey Boys." The weirdest thing about it is "Jersey Boys" isn't even showing in Paris! Crazy turon!

Remember that song by Salt 'N Pepa called "Push It"? That song plays in my head every time I make pusit. Uh, pusit. Pusit real good. My dream is that one day a Filipino R&B group will hit the music pop charts called Salt 'N Patis.

Jollibee is better than Mickey Mouse because he's connected to fried chicken. Mickey is connected to Donald Duck, who isn't even a large balut. If he was, then we'd have something.

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