If you have a Facebook profile and you use your nickname, like Bing-Bing, Lik-Lik, or Sampokikoy-Sampokikay, you might find yourself DE-FACEbooked. At least temporarily. Nicknames aren’t allowed so make sure you are using your real name or go back to MySpace.

Read more about the story from ABuggedLife.com’s Jayvee Fernandez. It happened to his friend Ton-Ton. Should this be reason enough to go back to socializing in real life? Nah.

In melting pots all over the world, languages, cultures, and beliefs are indeed simmering together. Who cares. What I want to know about are the edible byproducts of such “cultural collisions.” Most of us call it “fusion.” Some call it “beautiful-harmonization-of-tastes-making-love-with-each-other-and-creating-beautiful-edible-baby-rice-cakes.” I call it “massive-explosion-blasting-tasty-shrapnel-through-your-stomach.”

Unfortunately because of the economic downturn I don’t eat out anymore. Instead i’ll just list some Tagasayalish neologisms for you. You can even call them “Tagasayalish-Colliquilism-Collisions” (TCC). Neologism either means “new words” or “logical Nazis.” In regards to its true definition take your pick. But choose wisely.

Alas, the words!:

Donut Buslots: n - Donut holes.
Kangkongking: v - To enjoy crispy kang kong as if part of royalty.
Shakaka: adj - Shockingly ugly, or, the opposite of Shakira.
Hangtot: n - Hot sex.
Hangtoytoy: n - Hot boobs.
Chuvaness Monster: n - Effeminate dweller of cock fight arenas.
Tambaloslosangeles: adj - Using Louis Vuitton bags and Mercedes Benz’s as a source of inner strength.
Kinunaykalimay: v - Always eating coconuts.
Duriandelorean: n - Your kuya’s 1986 Toyota that for some reason always smells like wet dogs or clorox.

That’s it for now. Kinunaykalimay kangkongking shakakas hangatutot!

Turn around…
Every now and then I get a little bit pissed out, every time I under cook Jasmine riiiice…
Turn around…
Every now and then I sing a song by Madonna or Blondie on laser disc or magic miiiic…

Thank you. That was my rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart. Please join me next time as I serenade your girlfriend during a partial solar eclipse by Manila bay.

Girl… I do.

(Photo: Gil Nartea/AFP/Getty)

Dayon Am-Boy (American-Boy)! Welcome to George Walangton’s Sari-Sari Store!

Did you know that while Filipinos leave the Philippines because they need money, Americans leave the United States because they need love?

Im not talking about the kind of “love” horny Japanese/White/Fil-Am soilder-boys desire in Malate as they are entertained by Filipina prostitutes in nightclubs (or GRO’s or Guest Relations Officers or Girls Renting their bodies out because they are pOor).

Im talking about men and women who leave the United States because, although some may find financial security there, they cannot find emotional security. And now that we’re in what economic pundits and professors call a “recession,” they may now have nothing. So if you lost your job because it was outsourced to a foreign country, why not outsource yourself? These guys did!:

Take Bruce who lives in Davao with his wife Elena. In one of his latest posts, he talks about his interactions with Filipinos. Bob Martin is also in Davao and shares his opinions about his kids entering high school. The same Bob confesses he’s a Filophile here. Last but not least, here’s an old article about Harry Fozzard living in Manila and outsourcing.

For more research on the subject matter and to learn the appropriate nomenclature usage, visit Team America’s “America! Fuck Yeah!” Political Scientist Brent Weinbach’s tome is now on video here: “God Damn America.”

Actually I’m extremely happy! Muhahaha! I just figured out how to blog from my camera phone. Goooooo technology!