http://www.filipeanut.com/ In the U.S people call me Filipino and in the Philippines they call me American. Just put a bolo knife in my hand and call me dark-skinned idiot and i'll be fine. Actually don't do that, i'll cut you. en Copyright 2008 Americapino hoy@filipeanut.com (Filipeanut) Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:57:31 -0800 Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:57:31 -0800 The Generator http://filipeanut.com
"Daemon Irrepit Callidus" by the Madrigal Singers

"Daemon Irrepit Callidus" by better off anonymous.
By far the best rendition i've seen yet.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2008/06/daemon_irrepit_callidus.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2008/06/daemon_irrepit_callidus.html Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:57:31 -0800 Travis Kraft knows more tagalog than I do. hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2008/05/welcome_sa_kusina_koe.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2008/05/welcome_sa_kusina_koe.html Thu, 22 May 2008 19:30:46 -0800
Maybe my friend Andrew was right, he said I was going through a quarter-life crisis. Maybe my Uncle Skip was right, he said I had post-traumatic stress disorder after my mom's stroke.

Or I could be an alien from another planet who possessed my mom's only child at the age of 4, but forgot all about it's mission to take over the world because of my mom's salty-ass adobo that gave it a brain hemorrhage.

But after being couped up in a house for a year and a half, deprived of mangoes and shrimp paste, the alien within me is ready to commence with a job it came to finish. And that job is to either take over the world via 4 chilled shots of Don Julio, or to dance weekend nights away with women I don't know. Either way, taking over the world isn't going to be easy.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2008/01/filipeanut_in_2008.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2008/01/filipeanut_in_2008.html Thu, 03 Jan 2008 01:23:23 -0800 hookah bar to start the season with flavored cancer. The waiter recommended a flavored tobacco I never heard of before called "mary juana." It was weird because he'd look around and whisper in a low voice whenever he offered it to us; and he always had something in his eye, as if he was winking, but he wasn't though. ]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/12/secondhand_smoke_never_tasted.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/12/secondhand_smoke_never_tasted.html Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:06:28 -0800 Halloween sucks when your costume ends up looking like something entirely different. I was SUPPOSED to be a "doctor with blood on his lab coat." But I ended up looking like a "wannabe metrosexual doll house painter." Realistic fake blood my ass. hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/11/posthalloween_reflection.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/11/posthalloween_reflection.html Wed, 07 Nov 2007 23:44:09 -0800 commodes. The other dark guy, with the glasses, is calling in sick for the 5th day.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/11/mahjong_day_5_no_help_in_sight.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/11/mahjong_day_5_no_help_in_sight.html Sat, 03 Nov 2007 01:21:57 -0800
Top 5 anagrams for "Filipeanut":
5) I, flu pantie
4) A fine tulip
3) A flute in PI
2) Futile pain
1) Nut, if I leap

Thank you and tune in next time when we learn about the word "jer-jer."]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/welcome_to_filipeanut_and_frie.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/welcome_to_filipeanut_and_frie.html Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:25:13 -0800
What went wrong with me as I was growing up? Why come me not smart like these kids with their smartnesity? The only solution was to create a list of things I would tell my 4 year old self if I had the chance to go back in time and slap him.

1) Learn how to spell the word "definitely" early. You'll need it for future essays and blog posts you'll write.
2) In the 2nd grade, you'll meet your first Spanish-speaking friend. Don't tell her that she speaks Mexican like you know what the hell you're talking about. First off, she's from El Salvador you freaking idiot.
3) In the 3rd grade you'll have a crush on a girl named Charity. She doesn't live up to her name, so don't be afraid to holler at her. Make fun of her to show how much you care.
4) Try your best not to follow the crowd from middle school to your sophomore year in high school. By your junior year, kids will start to mature and you'll be accepted as the idiot you always were.
5) In 2005, you'll start a blog called Filipeanut.com. Instead of that, invest in a company called Google.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/note_to_my_4_year_old_self.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/note_to_my_4_year_old_self.html Sat, 06 Oct 2007 10:57:11 -0800 Very impressive. Unless of course I find myself in an embankment, texting the hell out of that number. hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/hows_my_driving.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/hows_my_driving.html Thu, 04 Oct 2007 23:24:00 -0800
And because of my curiosity, this cat has not only been killed, it has been resurrected into a Mahjong-playing cat. And now the younger ones in our family are addicted to your ambrosia of squareness, why? Why? They're so young! Take me instead, take me.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/how_to_unlearn_mahjong_sorry_y.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/10/how_to_unlearn_mahjong_sorry_y.html Mon, 01 Oct 2007 01:19:17 -0800
With that said i'll be playing Halo 3 until I beat the game. And then i'll pursue the getting laid by a Japanese glass blower part.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/master_chief_vs_filipeanut.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/master_chief_vs_filipeanut.html Mon, 24 Sep 2007 21:16:08 -0800
I met one girl where my game took our relationship to the next level:

Me: Hey so do you like cats? ...I think cats are a real social... things.
Chick: Shit, where's my mace.

Unfortunately she found it. So I danced the night away with my eyes closed. But, I still looked cool because I was holding a drink the whole night, indicating to the ladies that I had money to buy a drink, even though it was just orange juice. If you ever see me at the club, don't call me by my real name, Filipeanut. By night, you can call me Cutey Babes.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/filipeanuts_guide_to_women.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/filipeanuts_guide_to_women.html Mon, 24 Sep 2007 00:17:29 -0800 House of Sisig." And you'd think that with a name like "House of Sisig" you'd find either a house made out of beautifully fried chopped pig faces and brain or a restaurant that cooked it. I didn't find either of those. Instead I found a place that looked like a donut shop but smelled like meat, and generated styrofoam to-go boxes with two scoops of rice, a Dixie container full of Kikoman soy sauce, chopped pork, and chopped jalapeños and onions.

It was as if I was trapped in a candy shop with no candy, or a beautiful girl shop with no beautiful girls. Or like trapped in a toy store with not one toy save for a jack-in-the-box in a dark corner, which when opened would come out and scare you saying, "No sisig here! Go back home get some real shit!"

For some reason I hated the people at this "House of Sisig," but isn't their fault. For all I know its probably illegal in the United States to make sisig the real way. It also doesn't help that calamansi and pig heads aren't that abundant in this part of the globe. Either way, I have no beef with these folks, its just that I have no pork face with them either.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/sisig_vs_american_sisig.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/sisig_vs_american_sisig.html Sat, 08 Sep 2007 11:26:46 -0800
After the fantasy, I asked the young man if I could visit my website with his iPhone so that I could take a picture of the iPhone with my website displayed on it so that I could post the picture up on my blog and brag that I had the chance to hold an iPhone that wasn't mine. After looking at me weird he handed me the iPhone and I had my way with it. I made sure I was delicate, yet firm. Gentle, yet hella cool.

Apparently my website doesn't display well on the iPhone. Or maybe the iPhone cannot withstand the beautiful that is my blog grammar. I stood there as he walked away with his iPhone. A tear falls. From my nostril because it was cold. And then another tear fell, from my glistening sad right eye. The end.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/ifantasy.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/09/ifantasy.html Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:34:13 -0800
Today I was thinking of chopping up some pig face and brain, tossing it around on a grill fried with spices, calamansi, and chopped onions, sprinkled with that nice crispy crumbly stuff and green onions, and then throwing it all on a plate still sizzling, topping it off with a raw egg that eventually cooks over the still sizzling mix of fat, cartilage pieces, and oil. Fortunately, sisig is special in that it makes you fat when you think about it, so I didn't have to make it.]]> hoy@filipeanut.com http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/08/sisig.html http://www.filipeanut.com/2007/08/sisig.html Fri, 17 Aug 2007 00:18:10 -0800